Ming's Musings
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
RelationshipsIn my webclass today, we were discussing our activites from the weekend that passed. "I just spend a weekend north of california in Ferndale to be part of a renewal of vows."I shared. "Oh really?", my classmates ask amused. "Do people still really do that ?" Funny, we actually knew circa. 5 couples who got married last weekend, including one classmate of ours.Isn't it sad, if we dont believe in the sacred union of relationships no longer? What can we hope for?
Today, my cousin just told me that she just filed for divorce from her husband of 25 years.This news really hit me hard, because she was one advocate for lifetime marraiges. But it takes two to tango, so what if husband really wants out, what to do? "I was a good wife", she ruefully said. "Apparently that is not enough!"
It seems that I do have many acquaintances who are close to me that broke up in the last couple of years. Why is it when one nears 50, they look for a new lease on life? Is this the so-called mid-ife crisis? It seems like peoples start reassessing their lives and relationship when they are half a century year old, and dont want to linger in a mediocre relationship and living conditions.
It makes me sad. I did know a divorce couple from Germany who who was so happily divorced that they had to have a divorce ceremony and party. They rented a streetcar,where we continued celebrating. At the end of the night, we were smashing plates, in a Greek marraige tradition/fashion or in significance of a marraige that happily failed!???
Monday, September 26, 2005
Being an Islander
People dream of an island get-away, where palm trees are aplenty, endless strolls along the beaches, waking up to the sounds of the roaring waves, chickens crowing in the background, as the full moon illuminates the island's features on a romantic starry night. Being born and raised in an island I got tired of the array of coconuts that might fall on my head and might be the demise of my short unlived life. I outgrew the catch of a fresh fish wiggling and glaring at me half-alive, as well as the stench of the sand and sea. I grew up longing, curious and wanting to know what was beyond the waters that surrounded me. I found the boundaries of the sea constricting and limiting. Thus, I had dreams of conquering the world at a very young age. The grass was always greener on the other side of the fence, or so I thought.
I grew up in a small island in the south pacific called Cebu, where people lived a carefree lifestyle, and mostly loved to sing and dance. Many men and women from my island were born with a guitar in hand and a melody in their mouth. In the rural countryside, where households were sparingly lit by fluorescent light bulbs, one could hear the strumming of the guitars, backed by the rhythm of the frolicking waves, as the people's vocals serenaded the long endless nights.
“Are you from Cebu?” people would ask me, “You must be a great singer!”. “I wish I were, I am sorry I'm not”, I would apologize. “You must be a good dancer than”, they naturally assumed. The people from my island were not reputed for their culinary talents. Meals like chicken, pork, and fish were simply grilled , mostly spiced only with salt, pepper, and maybe monosodium glutamate. We dipped them with coconut vinegar and chili, combined with rice and a pickled papaya salad. Nevertheless, it was healthy. People from my island were naturally sweet and friendly and bore a sunny disposition at all times.
A friend once asked me, "who or what do you worship in my island?". “A family that prays together stays together” was a pretext local families still lived by. My country was 90% Christian and we were proud of that percentage. That is the reason why we were named "Pearl of the Orient". We were the only christian country amongst the other countries in the far east. Even when we were 90% Christians, one still believed in the afterlife and the supernatural influences in our daily lives. We did worship, honor and respect our dead ancestors and nature before we were colonized
This is just a brief summary of my wonderful island paradise.. Things have probably changed with the onset of modern technology, and the increasing population. But when I returned to my country from my exodus of more than 20 years living abroad, I realize some things, like our island hearts and beliefs remain the same, unfazed by modern technology despite being subjected to the influence of various foreign cultures. Being away makes me appreciate that there is "no place like home."
